.. what? My body? Did I really need that? If worse came to worst, Icould just get a new one, couldn't I? Besides, even if I got the old oneback I'd apparently need new boobs anyway. Urg, but no, I wasn't aboutto leave Evan's dick behind, as silly as that seemed. I owed it toomuch. Maybe we could swap it without running into Elizabeth? Like somesort of dick heist? This would take some planning. I let out anothersigh. Why had my life gotten so complicated?Okay, okay. One thing at a time.I slid into bed and wrapped my arms around Evan. It was brave of him tocome clean about all this, and, knowing him, he was probably worriedthat I was going to be mad. I told him it was okay. I told him that Iloved him and that I'd always love him, that I was happy that we couldfinally be intimate, and that I just wished he'd have told me sooner.There's this girl who's blog I read religiously -- she's like myinternet celebrity idol/crush -- and she's got all these articlestalking about how when it comes. I think I can understand why. I've wrestled with this for a week and hardly been able to sleep." Mary paused to sip her coffee, her eyes studying me with intelligence.She continued as I sipped from my mug, holding it steady with both hands. "We both know how determined Cassandra can be. You know as well as I that she's been like that since she was an infant," Mary added with a wistful smile. "The thing is, I don't want my baby hurt. I know you don't either. I wanted to talk to you about how we might let her down gently so she doesn't get her heart..."Mary's voice trailed off into silence. Her eyes intensified. Then they slowly widened, surprise dawning. What was she seeing? My muscles quivering inside me? Was she seeing my fear? The blood rushing to my ears? Could she see discomfort in me?I couldn't take it. I couldn't carry the burden of my guilt. It rested too heavy. I opened my mouth."You feel the same way, don't you," Mary said suddenly before I could confess. "You don't love.
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